3 years ago my partner of 28 years died, it turned out he was HIV+, he'd been sleeping around.

I turned out to be NEG which was more luck than anything else.

Recently a guy took an interest in me and to cut a long story short we hit it off big time, now we are seeing where things are going and I need to understand the issues from his perspective. It turns out he was diagnosed POS about a year ago, has had a really bad time with those around him rejecting him, including prospective partners.

Part of what I need to understand is his fear of infecting me, I can understand that this is something we both have to deal with, but it's more of a problem for him than me. I understand the risks and precautions from my previous relationship.

Apart from being patient I'm not sure what I can do to help him deal with this. We do discuss it and I reassure him as best I can that I understand there will be risk. I also do my best to reassure him that should I be unfortunate and contract it from him, then there is no blame as I am capable of assessing the risk and making a decision on it.

Obviously we understand safe sex etc. but he withdraws at times when there is little or no risk because he becomes conscious of his and my differing status. This I suspect/hope will improve with time.

Anybody got any experience in this situation, tips or suggestions I would appreciate it.

It can run in your blood line for up to 10-12 years, you might end up with both types of HIV.

First off, to your prior response, its highly unlikely that 1 and especially 2 types of HIV are going to float around in your blood for 12 years undetected. But if they do, wow, what a healthy and strong immune system you have. But anyway, I have been in a couple long term POS NEG relationships and of course its a concern to both partners. Fortunately, even though we talk about the issue, our love and strength of our bond overcomes the issue. We have good communication and know that it is our own duty to do what we can to protect ourselves. It can work, yes its difficult and yes its in the back of each partner's mind all the time. But you can overcome it and have a healthy relationship.

what does pos negative mean??? if you do a hiv test and it comes out negative you are negative and if its positive then you are positive...what are those abbreviations for?? im confused i was always told by health care professional its either you have it or not

This board, ?? really really doesn't get used much, heck, lol, myself, & one or two others from a totally diff board find ourselves kind of floating around, and if possible, WE chime in, with some help or something to offer here


POS/NEG means* that, ONE partner is Positive for HIV/AIDS, the OTHER partner, is Negative.... thus all the talk about protection, safety, etc. so, POS/NEG means, one person in the relationship DOES have HIV, the other, does NOT have HIV. Hope that clears things up for ya