My mother is 83, has moderate Alz and was hospitalized in March, for something unrelated to her ALZ.

Her geriatrician, prior to admitting her said to her, "Now, -----, you wouldn't want life-saving measures taken, would you? My mother looked up at him with eyes big as dinner plates and said, "WHAT??! I want to keep living!!! Yes, I do!!! He explained to her that he must ask that question of all of his patients...it wasn't because he felt she was going to die. He went on to say how hard it would be on her, as well as her entire family, to watch her experience life-saving measures. After that, she... "decided that she "guessed" she wouldn't want that.
So, upon admission, they put two bands on her wrist: a red one indicating high risk for falling and another:DNR
When we got up to her room and the nurses got done with all they were doing with her and left, she asked what her wristbands said and I told her. She said, "I want them to do everything they can to save me". I said, "Don't worry about that...you aren't going to die", thinking that would be it on that...not so!
Two nights before she was discharged (to come home), she called me to tell me she had the nurse cut off the "one wristband" because she wants to live. I said, "Okay, Gramma...that's fine".

When I got there the next day, her nurse asked me to her station to let me know about the wristband...she was obviously very concerned that it had happened. I let her know that Mom had called me right after she had it taken off and I thanked her for telling me.

Since then, she has made it a point of telling me and my husband...."I plan to live for years and years more, just to spite you"!!!
Should she die before me and my husband, he wanted to make sure that her wishes were honored. So, he asked her if she was wanting to be cremated or buried. She told him her wishes and he and I assured her that we would honor her wishes. She then followed that up with, "But I'm not going to die, so you better get used to that"!

There is no rational thinking on her part, but...

The irony is that not too many years before my dad passed away, she and he revised their living wills, donating their bodies to science and DNR order.

What should I think? What would you think or do?

Did or have any of you experienced anything like this w/your LO?
I would sure appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thank you.

Suzer

I would make sure to have several copies of her advance directives available at all times and present it to the staff upon any admission. It should be honored at this point considering her diagnosis. I really think it's un-ethical to ask someone like your mom that question.They are not capable of reasoning.Next time tell her the braclets are related to her diet and medications and make sure all of the staff are waware of her advance directives-if you are her DPOA you can ask that they not talk about it with her...I also wonder about the nurse -if your mother has been declared incompetent then only her dpoa could make that decision... I don't think I would have cut off the bracelet

[This Message was Edited on 08/15/2009]

and the next time she has to go to the hospital make sure you have her advanced directive with you.
Hugs,
Mariellen

I really appreciate your suggestion about her advance directives and having them readily available for such situations.

I was VERY surprised when her dr, who specializes in the treatment of ALZ patients, would even ask her that, too. So, I really thank you for confirming the thoughts I had at the time this all took place.

She has an appointment with this same dr the end of this month. So, I think I'll draft a letter and send it to him, prior to her appointment.

Thank you much!

suzer

...I think that's exactly what I'll do. Thank you, Mariellen.

Every time I took Uncle Roy to the hospital or a new doctor I had copies of my DPOA and Health care POA with me. I gave them the copies and told them "other than asking him what hurts, you do not talk to him about anything! You talk to me and only ME!" I had one doctor who chose to ignore what I said and when he heard me on the phone with "my lawyer" (it was actually my husband) he suddenly decided to get with the program and do things my way.
Sometimes we have to be assertive and aggressive in order to protect our loved ones from more confusion and fear than they feel already.
Hugs,
Mariellen