Hi,
My daughter (who is know 19) has asperger syndrome. She is high functioning,
brilliant, wonderful young lady. Her father side of the family has severe autism.
Her uncle is in a home but doing well. My delima is :how do I get my daughter the help she needs? Right now she spends hours on end on the computer playing games. She has the social skills of a 14 yr. old. She is very smart with the computer and says that she wants to go the college. But when we mad all the arrangements things changed.
She is afraid to go out on her own. I have agreed to help go with her to re set things up as soon as we get some money coming in . But here the other problem .
I have mixed connective tissue disease and partially sited. So I don't drive and she doesn't either. We live in the desert where there aren't to many sidewalks for my wheelchair. I can't have her walk alone in this area cause it's not safe for her. I know that I am over protecting her but with her I have to protect her some. I want her to have a life of her own (outside of the apartment). She has no friend out here. Except for her cyber friends.
And I don't don't have anyone out here either who can help. I don't know what to do. I already failed one daughter I can't fail her too. (I have two daughters-one is a runaway).

Any suggestions?

D.




[This Message was Edited on 08/16/2009]

This may or may not work.
The spectrum effects are so personal and individual for everyone.

But - have you considered bringing this conundrum to your daughter to solve?
Puzzles and their solutions and can be a focus and obsession to aspbergers'.

"How do we deal with the anxiety that is often associated with your challenge?
My health complicates my ability to go with you. Others with aspberger or other spectrum thinking have figured a way to overcome it. But I don't know how they did it. Hmmm..."

( Or something similar)

It may prompt her to accept the challenge and research on her own.

If not. Oh well.
The most important thing is for YOU not to see yourself as a failure.
That serves no one.

Your children are individuals with their own life lessons to learn.
Hard to let go. I know. Believe me. I KNOW. It can be heart breaking at times.

Best wishes to you Daylight,

Cate

My son is also High functioning Autistic and he has started college and is doing very well.It took him a while to overcome his anxiety, but I made him do it on his own. Now he says that college is easier than high school ever was. Try calling your local Autism society, dept. of disability and special needs in your state, and the college disability dept. to request help with transportation and whatever else you need.
Hugs,
Mariellen P.S. My son was always overly obsessed with computer games and the computer so he is taking computer technology classes and has a 4.0 GPA so far. Use the obsession as the road to a career path.

[This Message was Edited on 10/26/2008]

It's a tough situation for us. Neither us us drive and we have no friends out here to help. The bus is kind of close but where we live it isn't safe for her to walk alone and I would have to use a wheelchair to get there with her. Which normally wouldn't be a problem but we live in the desert with no side walks to get us there. My wheelchair is a manual . I'd could make it to the bus stop with her help but getting back home and picking her up after school could be difficult.=)
However there has got to be a solution.

I didn't know that colleges have a disability dept.. I'll have to check into that.
And also computer classes .

THESE CHILDREN GROW UP AND MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES. YOUR DOING JUST FINE IF SHE HAS LOVE AND IS AT 14YR OLD SHE IS DOING GOOD, MY DAUGHTER JUST GOT HER FIRST JOB SCARED HER TO DEATH BUT SHE IS DOING IT AND DOING IT WELL. I SEE HER GROWING INTO A NICE PERSON EVERYDAY, IT TAKES ALOT FROM HER BUT SHE IS PROUD . NO PLEASE DON'T LET HER WALK ALONE MAYBE A JOB WITH GOOD WILL OR A PLACE THEY WILL PICK HER UP WOULD BE GOOD MY DAUGHTER HAS A FEW FRIENDS NOW AND THEY ARE ALL IN HER SAME BOAT THEY ALL WORK AT WALMART AND SHE IS HAPPY

THESE CHILDREN GROW UP AND MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES. YOUR DOING JUST FINE IF SHE HAS LOVE AND IS AT 14YR OLD SHE IS DOING GOOD, MY DAUGHTER 26 JUST GOT HER FIRST JOB SCARED HER TO DEATH BUT SHE IS DOING IT AND DOING IT WELL. I SEE HER GROWING INTO A NICE PERSON EVERYDAY, IT TAKES ALOT FROM HER BUT SHE IS PROUD . NO PLEASE DON'T LET HER WALK ALONE MAYBE A JOB WITH GOOD WILL OR A PLACE THEY WILL PICK HER UP WOULD BE GOOD MY DAUGHTER HAS A FEW FRIENDS NOW AND THEY ARE ALL IN HER SAME BOAT THEY ALL WORK AT WALMART AND SHE IS HAPPY

Your sweet . Shes not 14 yrs old though . She 19 yr but has
the mental (age) of a 14yr old.
I do have some good news though. She went to visit her father
last week and helped him at his job site. I spoke to her yesterday and she was very excited that her father liked the work (cleaning up) that she did and even paid her. Hopefully
she'll be encouraged to go to college or even get a job.
My daughter is so sweet she offered to use the money that she earned to pay for groceries. I of course said that wouldn't be necessary . But it was sweet of her to offer.

We are blessed to have such good children.