One of my friends asked about EA meetings. Here is the basic info.

EA is a 12 step program. It follows the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous,
slightly modified. There are meetings in many United States cities, and in
some foreign countries. You can visit the EA headquarters on line to see if
there is a meeting near you.

There used to be a phone meeting and a message board. You can get current
info on same from the national headquarters.

Meetings last 90 minutes. They are usually in the early evening, but may
also be in the morning or afternoon. I have been to meetings big and small.
The average number is probably around ten. My current meeting usually has
20 to 23 members per meeting. Here in Los Angeles, there are meetings
every day of the week.

Members read from the EA book and discuss the reading. They talk about
what it (their mental health problem) was like, working the steps, progress
and problems.

Sometimes there is crying; sometimes laughter. Generally more laughs than
tears.

The meeting has structure and rules. The speaker has a time limit, and cannot
be interrupted with questions or comments. Advice is not given unless it
is asked for. No one is allowed to tell you, "You shoulda done this." That is
the job of friends and relatives.

Most meetings serve coffee, cookies, etc. There is no charge. A free will
offering is taken to pay for the refreshments and the rent. Meetings are
often at public buildings, churches, hospitals, etc. Most of these charge a
nominal rent for the group like $30 a month.

The group has 3 books and some pamphlets available, but you are not required
to buy anything.

Some people meet for coffee or a meal, either before of after the meeting.
There is a phone list so people can call each other to chat or to ask for help
in working the program. Being on the list is a matter of choice.

There are sometimes special events like a weekend retreat or a pot luck
dinner for the holidays.

The program is a spiritual one rather than a religious one. The serenity prayer
is often heard. There are no requirements for membership other than a
desire to get well.

I have been in the program about 25 years. When I started I was in such a
fog of depression, I'm not sure what year it was. I have seen lots of people
get better over the years. It works for everybody who stays with it and
works the steps. It is not for everyone, however. The only way you can tell
is by attending several meetings.

The slogan is: Try it for 6 months. If you don't like it, we'll refund your misery.

My friend discovered there is no meeting near her, but was told she could start her
own. Headquarters will provide info on how to go about it. I think an add on-line
or in the paper might locate some folks who have experience w/ 12 step meetings
and could help. (And, of course, I could help a little.)

If I couldn't find an EA meeting to visit, I would go to whatever 12 step meetings I
could find. They all have the same format and philosophy.

Back in the 1980s a friend of mine started a meeting in her apt. It had about 10
members and met once a week for 2 years till she moved away.

There are no professionals to run the meeting. Pills are not dispensed, but hugs
are often given. Encouragement and hope and understanding are provided. For many
of us, the meetings were the first place we found where we could discuss our emotions
and our past traumas.

Everyone has an opportunity to speak at a meeting, but there is no requirement that
one do so. What is shared at a meeting stays there; especially if the meeting is
in Las Vegas.


Rock

I am glad that you find this program so valuable......I have been to 1 meeting with a 12 step, and would never go back.... I find them to religious, to touchy feely, to mind controlling, and to far into sympathy. I don't need sympathy, I need empathy, I need someone to TELL me exactly what I may be doing wrong, so I can fix it. I can not fix, what I don't know is broken. I also may need advice or to be told just HOW to fix it. Waiting for family and friends to say it, may never happen, because they ARE your family and friends and they don't want to hurt your feelings....

I have a nephew that has been in a 12 step for years, and I can't even stand to be in the same room with him......He eats, breaths, lives, talks the 12 steps. He is brainwashed. At one time he was going to the meetings up to 2 times a day. I believe he now goes once a day, everyday. In my opinion, all these programs do is REPLACE once crutch for another. They don't solve the problem, they just create another......

I've asked you before about these meetings. Once I have my life back(Ha!) I want to find meetings near me. They sound like they could be very healing, and a way to find and connect with others that you wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to. I mean, really, who talks about this kind of stuff in the "real" world??

Yes, there's a joke sometimes heard at meetings. "I'm going to too many
meetings. I need a 12 step program for people addicted to meetings."

When I was new to the 12 step program, a friend and I went to a meeting
of some sort every day for a month. All kinds of programs: Narcotics
Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, etc. It was eye opening and a good way
to get familiar w/ the 12 step concept.

I have seen a lot of newcomers over the years at one meeting and then never
again. Maybe they went to a different meeting. Maybe it just wasn't what
they needed. I've also heard people say things like, "There was over a year
between my first meeting and my second. I'm sure glad I finally came back."

There is another situation that can show up in 12 step groups due to the lack
of a professional leader. Sometimes a clique will take over. I went to a meeting
that was held at a Kaiser facility. Only 4 people were allowed to speak. And
once I went to a meeting where a fellow was trying to convince people they
should only say happy thoughts and not discuss their problems.

I am not religious, but I do not find the references to God or a Higher Power
offensive. People can decide what their Higher Power is e.g., Nature,
the Universe, etc. For me it's just a sort of vague concept of the group
struggling to get better.

Yes, about 25 years. Have only been to a few meetings the last several months.
My meeting starts at 10AM. I have usually been awake all night, so frequently
am asleep at that time. Or sometimes I go and fall asleep at the meeting.
Hard to share when you're in the arms of Morpheus.

Flower Girl, maybe the program could help you get your life back. Hope you're
feeling better these days.

Rock

Thanks for explaining about the meetings you go to.I have never heard of them until I read your posts.I don't know if it would be for me but I like to keep an open mind.
I sometimes see people become immersed in things.Eat,drink,and speak of only whatever they are involved in.I tend to think it's in their personality to do that.I'm a very private person too and not touchy feely at all but I like the idea of people getting together with a common illness and understanding of what I'm going through.Sorta like these boards I guess.Thanks for sharing.

It's one of many valuable resources we can use. I appreciate you detailing everything. I hope it helps some.

Al-Anon group and met so many great people.

I too am not religious but just put another O in and come up with GOOD. Speak to GOOD. Think GOOD. Thanks Rock. I'll read it later, gotta run out for a bit.

EA is structured just like AA and Al-Anon, etc.

Personally, I'd rather hear someone talking this life than messed up on drugs and messed up with their minds.

I didn't get pity in the meetings, lot of toughlove.

[This Message was Edited on 10/29/2009]

Thank you for taking the trouble to post about EA. And its wonderful that it helped
you and Im sure many others.

I took my brother to an AA meeting once. It was very like what you described. He didnt go
again..but i thought it was freeing for everyone to be able to vent and talk without interruption.
Also, listening to so many others and their stories, struggles..sort of put ones own thoughts
about the problem into perspective.

You found out you were not the only one life was targeting. I was so surprised myself at the kind of people there...people who looked as if they had it all together and you would never imagine they had a problem. I recognized one lady from my younger days when i was working. Yes, i had never imagined she could be alcoholic.

I dont think bottling things up is healthy...and it seems like EA gives people an opportunity to
articulate feelings and get it out of ones system. A relative or friend will probably not want to listen after some time.

P.S. My brother is sober now...touch wood.

God Bless