My day started out pretty great! I went around to different places to put in my job applications for medical transcription just so people out there can get to know me. Then, when my husband gets home he is just begging for a fight. I always seem to put in all the effort into this relationship and he puts in zero. I am so sick and tired of having to put up with a selfish, self-centered, short tempered, impatient, husband! I have been married to this man for 31 years and not all of it as been rosy. He enjoys neglecting me about 95% of the time. We don't really have any kind of a social life. When I ask him if we could just do something like go to a movie or out to eat, he just growls at me. He has never hit me which I am grateful for and at one time he was a much better husband. He just doesn't seem to want to work at our marriage anymore and he just doesn't seem to care about my own feelings. I have approached him in the past about marriage counseling but he says he won't do it and I certainly don't want to go alone.

I have no interest in him sexually much anymore. It seems in the past that once we did it that he ended up leaving the bedroom to do his own thing, talk about feeling like a prostitute!! I wonder how many great marriages are actually out there. I wonder if they really do exist anymore. Maybe a lot of them are like mine, long-married but really DEAD!! I don't expect anyone to respond to this! I am just wanting to blow off some steam! Wish me luck in finding and hopefully landing a transcription job.

a super job for YOU. Re: Marriage. One time for me and never again. Once was enough. Love my Freedom and do what I want to do when I want to and with whom. We can't change people that's for sure, our mates (former) for sure. Take care. jam

So sorry you're having a bad day.
Job searching can be very Stressful and overwhelming.
I hope you find a transcription job soon
You're definately searching in the right field of work.
Try not to be so hard on yourself, all will work out.

I've been married long long time too.
All marriages have their ups and downs.
In our younger years we had our blow ups but as time goes on
we enjoy one anothers companionship, can now laugh at our ole blow ups.

i have this ole poem that has been on our wall and i do read it often to remind myself.
I'd like to share it with you. When things tend to bother me i read this.

When it comes to Love you need not fall but rather surrender.
Surrender to the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another.
You must absolutely trust yourself before you can absolutely trust another
and most important you must accept your flaws before you can accept the
flaws of another.



Hope this helps ease your day
Hugs and Live Life Well
Butterflydream

He may not want to go, so definitely go on your own. It's your chance to learn how to approach the problems you are facing in the marriage and to start finding your own self.

To be completely honest, I want you to do everything you can for this marriage with the help of counseling. Then if you decide you are going to walk away from the marriage, you will walk away, with your head held high, knowing that you did everything you could and your husband made no effort to do anything.

Not every marriage can withstand the test of time and people do change and those can create problems in marriages and make it so marriages don't last. But I really would like to see you in marriage counseling at least on your own so that if you have to end this relationship, you'll never feel you didn't give it your all first. Many hugs and good luck with job hunting. You're the best!!!

[This Message was Edited on 11/04/2009]

for you is a good one. If your husband won't then you can't force him or drag him there. My ex never would, but he got involved with another woman before we even got to that conversation. I tried after he got involved but no way jose'. Anyway I went for me.

My parents were married 63 yrs and I would have loved to see them divorced, but back in those days, it didn't happen much. Women had no way out or where to go, religion, etc. kept them in difficult marriages. My dad was married to the bottle, which we all hated.

Those who can last in a long harmonious marriage deserve a medal. It certainly takes a lot of work.

My daughter she went thru a divorce, alcohol is his love/addiction. She got messed up on painpills while in the marriage. So it was a difficult 15 yrs. She's good now thanks to AA.

I saw Kate of Jon&Kate last night in an interview and there certainly is a saddness there that their marriage couldn't make it. She was very hard on Jon as we saw it on their shows. But as she said she still has a love for him. I still have a love for my ex after all these years being divorced.

Just wondering if you have come accross any scribe opportunities? Seems to be a pretty hot field. If you are contacting area hospitals, you can ask if they have scribe programs. The only thing is it isn't a work at home job.
As to your husband. I can't add much to the good advice. Sounds like he just isn't trying or taking you for granted. Are there any plus sides in your relationship. I was married, divorced, had a couple of relationships, then would up back with my ex-wife. This had more to do withdealing with our Scizophrenic son's major issues than a rekindled romance. But friends will ask if we might remarry. And I know it's not for me. friends and roomates is fine for me.
So divorce him and maybe he'll become a decent friend. Im kidding, sort of. But sometimes guys need a jolt.

Jim