ProHealth health Vitamin and Natural Supplement Store and Health
Home  |  Log In  |  My Account  |  View Cart  View Your ProHealth Vitamin and Supplement Shopping Cart
800-366-6056  |  Contact Us  |  Help
Facebook Google Plus
Fibromyalgia  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & M.E.  Lyme Disease  Natural Wellness  Supplement News  Forums  Our Story
Store     Brands   |   A-Z Index   |   Best Sellers   |   New Products   |   Deals & Specials   |   Under $10   |   SmartSavings Club

Trending News

Tea drinkers have lower glaucoma risk

Basic Aromatherapy to Help Balance and Calm

Soy, cruciferous vegetables could help lower breast cancer treatment side effects

The Long-Term Benefits of Drinking Oolong Tea

Why You Should Try This Sweet-Smelling and Health-Boosting Essential Oil

Wonderful White Tea: A Drink Fit for an Emperor

Arnica: This Powerful Herb Promotes Various Kinds of Healing

Chamomile Tea: Why This Ancient Therapeutic Drink Still Stands Out Today

Get ‘Hooked’ on Cat’s Claw: The Many Benefits of This Amazonian Herb

Try Apple Cider Vinegar and Black Cumin Oil as Your Go-To Salad Dressing

Print Page
Email Article

How to manage a relationship when you have a chronic illness

  [ 3 votes ]   [ Discuss This Article ]
By Sarah Borien • • January 11, 2018

How to manage a relationship when you have a chronic illness
Reprinted with the kind permission of Sarah Borien and A Life Less Physical

The spoonie community is having a debate at the moment. How much should we thank the people who choose to spend their life with someone who has a chronic health condition?
In case you haven’t heard the two sides of the debate, it’s pretty simple.
One side of the argument is that having a partner/spouse with chronic pain massively impacts your life and means you end up as some kind of lover-slash-carer. Chronic illness sufferers should therefore be eternally grateful to the people who stay with us and give high praise to those who love us in spite of our disabilities.
The other side of the argument is the backlash to the above; people with chronic pain are not some kind of second-rate partner, we’re still human beings with opinions, values, likes and dislikes, and we’re not a project that you deserve a medal for spending time with.
Which side do you fall?
Personally, I think both are true. But I think that both are true of any person in any relationship, not just those that involve chronic illness.
Don’t we all think our partners are saints for staying with us in spite of all our awful traits? And don’t we all have moments where we think we deserve a medal for putting up with our partners when they’re being particularly annoying?
We all have our baggage and we all make sacrifices for our loved ones. When R and I first got together, he told me something that has stayed with me ever since. He said, we don’t have to be all things to all people. Just because I can’t go for long walks doesn’t mean R can’t – he just has to do that with someone that isn’t me. R refuses to go to spas because he doesn’t like being stuck in weird places with strangers – and apparently that’s what a spa is – so I have relaxing days out with friends instead.
I’m using flippant examples, of course. It can be difficult to be with someone who’s in pain a lot of the time, I know that. But I think we can all be difficult in lots of different ways, and surely it is more about how we handle these difficulties than whether or not they exist in the first place.
When it comes to managing chronic pain, my resilience is the most important thing to me. And it’s about being able to find that balance between sharing your struggles with your loved ones and complaining about every ache and pain you feel. If I articulated my pain every time I felt it, I’d drive myself crazy, never mind everyone else. It’s why I started this blog and it’s why the chronic pain online community is so good; there are people who understand and are happy to talk for days if you need to release your pain and frustration, so you don’t have to let it consume you and your relationship. I have a list of effective coping strategies which means I know how to look after myself and make things more manageable without having to tell everyone in the room about it. And I know that when I need a bit of extra, help my husband is there to help – just as I am there to help him.
I think the only element of this that I find challenging is perception. I know that people think my husband is amazing because he copes with me and my pain. And he is amazing, of course he is, but it frustrates me that people think we have a life that is particularly hard. It is no harder than coping with depression, anxiety, fatigue, children, a job you hate, a lack of motivation, an eating disorder, old age, stress… the list goes on. Life is challenging for everyone; my pain hasn’t created a life that is difficult for me or my husband and I would hate it if people thought that I had.
How does your health impact your relationship? Which side of the argument do you fall?

Sarah Borien lives in a country cottage in Oxfordshire with her husband and their two cats. She has had fibromyalgia since 2009 and is passionate about finding and sharing new coping strategies. Sarah authors her blog, A Life Less Physical, and has written for New Life Outlook (Fibromyalgia).

Post a Comment

Featured Products From the ProHealth Store
FibroSleep™ Optimized Curcumin Longvida® Mitochondria Ignite™ with NT Factor®

Article Comments

Be the first to comment on this article!

Post a Comment

Optimized Curcumin Longvida with Omega-3

Featured Products

Vitamin D3 Extreme™ Vitamin D3 Extreme™
50,000 IU Vitamin D3 - Prescription Strength
Optimized Curcumin Longvida® Optimized Curcumin Longvida®
Supports Cognition, Memory & Overall Health
Ultra ATP+, Double Strength Ultra ATP+, Double Strength
Get Energized with Malic Acid & Magnesium
Energy NADH™ 12.5mg Energy NADH™ 12.5mg
Improve Energy & Cognitive Function
Ultra EPA  - Fish Oil Ultra EPA - Fish Oil
Ultra concentrated source of essential fish oils

Natural Remedies

Block food Cravings At Their Molecular Root Block food Cravings At Their Molecular Root
Top 3 Nutrients to Detox the Liver and Soothe Digestion Top 3 Nutrients to Detox the Liver and Soothe Digestion
Itching to Find Dry Skin Relief? Itching to Find Dry Skin Relief?
When a Good Night's Sleep Is Just a Daydream... When a Good Night's Sleep Is Just a Daydream...
Priming Your Immune System for Cold & Flu Season Priming Your Immune System for Cold & Flu Season

ProHealth, Inc.
555 Maple Ave
Carpinteria, CA 93013
(800) 366-6056  |  Email

· Become a Wholesaler
· Vendor Inquiries
· Affiliate Program
Credit Card Processing
Get the latest news about Fibromyalgia, M.E/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Lyme Disease and Natural Wellness

CONNECT WITH US ProHealth on Facebook  ProHealth on Twitter  ProHealth on Pinterest  ProHealth on Google Plus

© 2018 ProHealth, Inc. All rights reserved. Pain Tracker App  |  Store  |  Customer Service  |  Guarantee  |  Privacy  |  Contact Us  |  Library  |  RSS  |  Site Map