By Clarissa Shepherd
I cry out in pain.
I cry out in loneliness.
I cry out in restlessness.
The years become, as a prison.
The time spent in despair, never wavers.
There is life, yet seen in the distance.
The ache of my heart, can not be truly measured.
The depth of sorrow, can find no end.
The search for calm, has become an ember.
Where is my place in this life ?
Do I still exist or am I only dreaming ?
Is there any hope remaining within me ?
I coast, yet am not sailing.
I climb, yet I do not rise.
I pause, yet things remain the same.
Within me still burns a desire to spring forth.
Within me still hears the calling of life.
Within me, I see movement, yet I am still.
This illness, refuses to relent.
The mind, refuses to forget.
The tears, refuse to dry.
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Who is there to hear me ?
Isolation has no friends.
Illness has no compassion.
Who may console this longing ?
Who may fill this restless mind ?
Who will find me here in the darkness ?
What I need – what I want – just out of reach.
It’s like being told you can look – but don’t dare to touch.
You can hold – yet it’s not yours to keep.
From my inner most being, I know there must be something better.
In the path of this storm, there is surly sunshine somewhere.
Please – out of this terrible darkness, let there be a glimmer of light.
There must be those who walk this with me.
I can’t see them, yet I know they’re there.
I can’t touch them, yet I feel their breath.
Together – this journey will find us.
Together – we can conceive a re-birth.
Together – we may rise.
From the ashes of this mighty fire, may we fly with wings of angels.
From this place illness has taken us, may we rise to the mount of healing.
From this depth of pain that consumes us, may glory spring forth.
Chronic illness cries out.
It is heard.
It is comforted.
Clarissa Shepherd is founder of the uplifting Fellow Travelers: Support and Chat (ME/CFS/FM) online Facebook support group and author of the book of natural healing: Find Your Way: A Guide to Healing While Living With Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. (Europe book link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Find-Your-Way-Clarissa-Shepherd/dp/1439244928)