Letter to My Chronic Illness


You came to me without my consent – without being invited – without notice.

You invaded my space.
You caused me to lose my job.
You caused me to lose my social life.
You took much of my independence from me.
You torture me day after day – year after year.
You affect me – mind and body, in a very negative way.

You not only affect my life, but the lives of those around me.
You’re relentless, rude, unstable, shocking, and careless.
You shatter dreams, hopes, and plans for the future.
I’m no longer able to do what I’d like. Rather, you’ve become the decision maker in my daily life.

Where do I go to escape you? What do I do to find peace?
If for one week, I could rid myself of you and feel the freedom, I once knew.
If I could run, play, and live life, without you, it would truly be grand.

You’ve taken all of this from me, yet I choose to fight back.

You can’t take my will, my determination to do better, nor the grace which sustains me.

You can’t take from me, the light that is alive in me, even in my pain.

I’ve learned many things due to your presence in my life. One very important thing is, I no longer take anything for granted.

You may stay with me but I choose to find something good in each day. I choose to meet like-minded people who help light my way. I choose to live the best life I can, within the limitations you’ve imposed onto me.

Therefore, something positive you’ve given me – is courage and the bravery of a warrior. One who goes to battle each and every day, with the sword of life and the might to say, “I’ll live my best for each day and climb each mountain to the top. Knowing that many enduring people are standing there along side me.”

Together we stand, united in battle – for there is truly strength in numbers.

Clarissa Shepherd

Clarissa Shepherd is founder of the uplifting Fellow Travelers: Support and Chat (ME/CFS/FM) online Facebook support group and author of the book of natural healing: Find Your Way: A Guide to Healing While Living With Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome and Fibromyalgia

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