Letter to My Chronic Illness

You came to me without my consent – without being invited – without notice.

You invaded my space.
You caused me to lose my job.
You caused me to lose my social life.
You took much of my independence from me.
You torture me day after day – year after year.
You affect me – mind and body, in a very negative way.

You not only affect my life, but the lives of those around me.
You're relentless, rude, unstable, shocking, and careless.
You shatter dreams, hopes, and plans for the future.
I'm no longer able to do what I'd like. Rather, you've become the decision maker in my daily life.

Where do I go to escape you? What do I do to find peace?
If for one week, I could rid myself of you and feel the freedom, I once knew.
If I could run, play, and live life, without you, it would truly be grand.

You've taken all of this from me, yet I choose to fight back.

You can't take my will, my determination to do better, nor the grace which sustains me.

You can't take from me, the light that is alive in me, even in my pain.

I've learned many things due to your presence in my life. One very important thing is, I no longer take anything for granted.

You may stay with me but I choose to find something good in each day. I choose to meet like-minded people who help light my way. I choose to live the best life I can, within the limitations you've imposed onto me.

Therefore, something positive you've given me – is courage and the bravery of a warrior. One who goes to battle each and every day, with the sword of life and the might to say, "I'll live my best for each day and climb each mountain to the top. Knowing that many enduring people are standing there along side me."

Together we stand, united in battle – for there is truly strength in numbers.

Clarissa Shepherd

Clarissa Shepherd is founder of the uplifting Fellow Travelers: Support and Chat (ME/CFS/FM) online Facebook support group and author of the book of natural healing: Find Your Way: A Guide to Healing While Living With Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome and Fibromyalgia

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20 thoughts on “Letter to My Chronic Illness”

  1. Danesh says:

    Thank you, Clarissa, for this expression that represents so many of us. It speaks to my heart.
    Denise B.

  2. ClarissaShepherd says:

    You’re truly welcome. Only those of us who live this can connect with it. I’m blessed to be on this journey with people just like you, dear one.

  3. richcarson says:

    Thanks for your beautiful article Clarissa. You articulated our disease(s) beautifully, and for that I am grateful. Now I would love to read a letter of yours–and by extension, ours–to our departed disease, that after so many years of concentrate camp-like oppression, has left us for good, our prison terms served, leaving us in a place where we can put the pieces back together, to get stronger every day, so that we can grow and finally enjoy the life that were were meant to live.

    Rich Carson,
    Founder, ProHealth

  4. Suenell says:

    You knock it out of the park! Great work!

  5. leemar72 says:

    Letter to myself.

    Despite my daily companion, fibromyalgia and RA, I will keep on keeping on!

  6. leemar72 says:

    Letter to myself.

    Despite my daily companion, fibromyalgia and RA, I will keep on keeping on!

  7. Pattyr52 says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your Letter, It said exactly how I feel and what I want to say. I am sorry that you have to deal with this illness as well.

  8. spiketheartist says:

    ProHealth, the illustration of the woman writing you used is annoying. I’m used to mainstream periodicals using pictures of healthy smiling women to illustrate articles on CFS/ME, FM, etc. but I hoped for better judgment from ProHealth.

  9. WilDarby says:

    Clarrisa, an innovative letter to your Chronic Illness. Has helped me to share this with you.
    I am not quite the Warrior you are, as gratefulness often fails to find me. I thank you for
    submitting this to all of those who find their way through this existence, which is indeed a
    robber, and so unpredictable, and ends up with the realisation of hanging onto just life
    itself. May we be well. May we have the serenity to accept………. and the courage to…..
    and the wisdom to know the difference. (Serenity Prayer)

  10. CleeRose says:

    Wow! That letter says it all! It even made me cry but it was a good cry knowing that I am not alone thanks so much for posting that!

  11. MERALGO says:

    All too true, BUT, like you I won’t give up. I just grit my teeth and get on with it. Some days are very bad, so I take it steady, other days I just tell my body to work, get on with it. It’s no good giving it, it will rule your life.

  12. dianelindeman says:

    Clarissa, WELL SAID. Thanks for taking the time and energy to post your letter. As an almost 40 YEAR ME/CFS/FMS SURVIVOR I agree with your sentiments. Diane Lindeman

  13. dianelindeman says:

    Clarissa, WELL SAID. Thanks for taking the time and energy to post your letter. As an almost 40 YEAR ME/CFS/FMS SURVIVOR I agree with your sentiments. Diane Lindeman

  14. danlinww says:

    I have had attacks of Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia since a deadly auto accident in 1992. In each instance I was able to put it into remission.

    I initially used the prescribed medications which didn’t seem to work other than relieving the symptoms, but didn’t put the disease into remission.

    I had read about the benefits of using Silver for many illnesses and decided to give it a try. I researched for the best means of ingesting Silver and found Colloidal Silver is the best way. Not all colloidal Silver is the same since it depends on a number of factors.

    Rather than try and provide an explanation, let me give you a reference for the Silver I use. It’s Mesosilver, manufactured by Purest Colloids,Inc.
    You can find them on the internet. They will explain it for you.

    It takes time but it has done the job for me during at least 4-5 attacks during the last 25 years. My latest attack started in November, 2016. It is now slowly going away again and I hope in another 2-3 weeks it will be completely back into remission again.

    I hope my message will help other folks with this debilitating disease.
    Best of Luck!

    Daniel Stone

  15. danlinww says:

    Yesterday I posted a comment about using Colloidal Silver. After I posted it, I realized I had omitted a very important part of the means to put it into remission.

    Along with using colloidal silver, I have been using Fibrolief and Fibro Sleep. The combination of the three ingredients has been the basis for my overcoming Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue this time.

    I will use Fibrolief and Fibro Sleep from now on if this disease strikes again.

    I hope this will help someone to experience relief from this disease.

    Daniel Stone

  16. dianelindeman says:

    Clarissa, How do I join the online support group? Thanks. diane Lindeman

  17. dianelindeman says:

    Clarissa, How do I join your online support group? Thanks. diane Lindeman I have printed and framed your letter to my chronic illness for INSPIRATION.

  18. NewYear says:

    It’s easy to be more positive if life has been positive in other areas of your life. But when there have been other battles too, it not only makes it more difficult, but adds to the chronic disease.

  19. danlinww says:

    Hi everyone,
    I posted a comment a short while back about using Colloidal Silver to put this disease into remission. This attack started in October, 2016
    and now is leaving me.

    Well, the silver is working once again for me. I’ve started walking outside which is being free once again! I’m doing mild exercises also.

    If you are concerned about using Colloidal Silver for adverse side effects
    I don’t believe there are any. Remember before the use of Penicillin, silver was the gold standard for curing illnesses. Now silver is once again being used for various medical situations.

    You can ask your MD if silver is safe to be sure.
    I hope this short testimonial will be helpful for someone.
    Daniel Stone

  20. gemjan5 says:

    You said it so wel, Clarissa ! Hopefully we’re getting close to a cure. We’ll just keep praying, and will get an answer soon!!

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